My two brothers & the younger of my two sisters, are determined that our Mum gets a "covid-booster", they are over-ruling me, I just hope that they don't regret their decision. Meanwhile, their despite for me has grown exponentially, there is no love from them for me, only ridicule & spite.
I'm nearing the end of my ability to hold on, once Mum has gone, I think it won't be long before I go too.. I can't see any hope of change for me, only this Hell that I endure getting worse & worse..
This world of tiny minds & tiny hearts, has shown me what it has to offer, which is, mostly, nothing that I want or need, nothing good. Yes, there are good people & good things happening, elsewhere, for other people, not here, not for me, I am depressed by the wilfully blind, self-congratulating egos of my siblings & their kind, to the point of feeling that, apart from caring for my Mum, I have little or nothing to stop me from leaving this world for the next.. It's just a matter of time now..
Saturday, late afternoon, the remanants of a cup of coffee have gone cold, the fire is warm, making the room seem cosier than it would otherwise be. The rain is intermittent, but a downpour is sure to come. Got a stinker of a cold, so informed Deacon that unfortunately, I won't be attending service tomorrow.
Going to have a nice hot meal, of roast beef, potatoes, carrots, onions, garlic & herbs, with a side of steamed savoy cabbage, done over the pan of pot's.
I think a hot bath and early bed, are definitely on the cards for tonight, I'll read until I can't, then I'll put out the light & go to sleep. I've got cocoa, so a big mug of steaming hot cocoa beteween exiting the bath & going to bed, will be a nice way to end the evening.
I hope you are well & remembering to live, as well as being the worker/fixer/boss/co-owner/whatever. We must be mindful of the welfare of others, at all times, at all times except when we need to put ourselves first, temporarily, when it's time to recharge ...
