I was a happy kid, then things started happening within my family, things that my siblings did, I realised their cruelty & viciousness was a part of the core of their being, overlaid by a self-image of strength & wisdom, courage & kindness.
This falsity persists, they've now become closer to each other due to their despite of me, maybe that's a good thing for them, in the long run, but it's certainly no fun for me.. My Mum is no longer capable of telling them to back-off & they have zero regard for my ideas, my wishes, my history as Mum's long-term carer, their guilt & shame over their neglect of Mum, forces them to hate me for who I am, which is very tiring, I am so very tired.. of it all.. I just want to sleep & not wake-up..
The Agora.. a place where you can speak your mind, obviously there are limits, but these are very few & everyone knows them from their own culture.. be kind, think twice before posting, don't harrass people for their views or immutable characteristics, no porn, limits on swearing/foul language are enforced if posted continually, this place aims to restore some level of common-sense to modern debate, but also a sense of wonder, bring us your stories!
I'm so very tired of this life, once Mum is no longer here, I don't see anything to keep me here either.. I'm just so fucking lonely, so fucking tired of authority arseholes, so tired of the way the world has gone, so fearful of my own future here, so sick of the hate & the spite, the malice that enjoys the pain of others, I will be glad to leave this rotten world of pain & heartache..
I'm sorry Jesus, I just don't think I can make it thru the rest of this permanent, daily, weekly,monthly, yearly, pain & torture.. Please forgive me.. 😓